Arnold’s Rhapsody


Below are the lyrics to “Arnold’s Rhapsody” a parody of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.”


Is this the real life? Or sci-fi fantasy?
Caught in the crossfire, no escape from reality
What’s wrong with my head, look into my bed and see,
Lamentations of women, I get no sympathy
Cause it was easy come, easy go, pumping hard, pumping slow
Anything I blew up, didn’t really matter to me! To me…

Mama, just stiffed the help
Put my schlong next to her rump
Pulled my trigger, baby bump
Mama, it’s not a tumor
Now I’ve gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, didn’t mean to make you cry
I’ll be back again this time tomorrow
Cameras on, cameras on, as if I’m the greatest actor

Consider that a divorce
End of the Schwarzenneger lines, muscles aching all the time
Goodbye, ev’rybody, I’ve been erased
Who is your daddy and what does he do?
Mama, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, I’m a party pooper
One ugly motherfucker, kill me now! (Do it, c’mon! I’m here…)

I see the Last Action Hero of a man
Rat tat tat, Rat tat tat, tag and bag all the women
Terminators fighting, very, very fright’ning me
Get to Mars. (Get to Mars) Get to Mars. (Get to Mars)
Mr. Universe is ours (by our stars)

I am a hero, everybody loves it
But I must admit hero stuff has its limits
Damaged goods with three tits, blow you to bits

Pumping hard, pumping slow, to the chopper go
The CHOPPER! NO! Stop the running man (Running Man!)
The CHOPPER! Stop the running man (Running Man!)
The CHOPPER! Stop the running man (Running Man!)
Stop the running man (Running Man!)
Stop the running man (Running Man!)
Never stop the running man, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
(Oh Maria, Oh Maria.) Mama get your ass to Mars
You’re a choir boy compared to me! To me! To me!


So you think that I know the Riddle of Steel?!
So you think I have a license to cop a feel?!
Oh, baby, hasta la vista, baby!
Here is subzero, now just plain zero!

Haheah! Ooh! Haheaheahaaaa!

I’m the greatest actor, anyone can see
I’m the greatest actor
I’m the greatest actor, to me

Anything I blew up…